Today is not my day. Maybe I’m just feeling extra salty because I forgot my debit card at home, dropped my phone in the sink (with the faucet running) AND took the wrong commuter train home – ending up over an hour in the wrong direction. Isn't that just how it goes sometimes? These smaller inconveniences always seem to align with other looming feelings of doubt - like career or financial struggles. I’m feeling very out of control. I'm actually, quite literally, lost. I'm writing this post in a diner, in the middle of nowhere.
I take a minute to collect my thoughts, and laugh to myself and think ‘this is a sign’. Really though, a wake-up call.
Over the past few weeks, we have been writing about working toward a more balanced life. In doing that, I’ve been saying ‘yes’ to almost every opportunity that has come up in an effort to be more open with my family, friends, and my own feelings. In doing this, I have made no time for ME. How do I break this cycle of constant fatigue? I'm realizing that sometimes you need to take a really big a step back (sometimes forced, like this is). This was meant to happen. Now I have this time to sit and focus in silence with no other thoughts than my own. Have you ever meditated in public before? Because that is what I have been trying to do for the 30 minutes prior to writing this.
As I sit here in a truckstop diner thinking about how much I’ve screwed up today, how exhausted I am…how I got here…I find in my pocket two crystals: a raw ruby and a polished carnelian. I am overcome with feelings of relief and wholeness.
I carry these crystals to remind me that your attitude toward life and challenges says a lot about you. They help ground me and bring me back to a centered place where I am able to continue forward through the tough times and look forward to the good. Sometimes you have to take a step back in order to move forward.
Ruby is a stone of great courage and inner strength. It is a stone of self-confidence, self-love, and increased inner power. It also is a stone of honesty, which can assist with issues surrounding and interfering with self-confidence and inner power.
Carnelian is a stabilizing stone that restores vitality and motivation, and stimulates creativity. It helps in trusting yourself and your perceptions. It overcomes negative conditioning and encourages steadfastness. It’s properties help in calming anger, banishes emotional negativity and replaces it with a love of life.
Header image photo credit: Alvin Mahmudov